Grammys = Whammy

You know, like that old game show where you felt like you wanted to be part of it until that stupid liitle cartoon character came up and laughed in your face, then the contestant lost everything? That's how the Grammy's are so far this year.



ATTENTION GRAMMY PEOPLE: please read the following words carefully and take express consideration.

MORE of this please:



Dear Carrie Underwood,

You are a light of the world. Please never get plastic surgery as you are a natural beauty. Don’t pull a Whitney Houston and turn to a life of hard partying, drugs, and Bobbie Brown and run the risk of ruining your priceless instrument, your voice. I hope you continue to create many more powerful, inspiring, fun, and life enhancing songs in your future and they place you at number one on the charts where you belong, with tons more Grammy Awards breaking your award cabinet. Please always stay true to your small town roots and girl next door charm. Keep smiling that smile, and if things don’t work out with Mike, give me a call. Thanks for inspiring me and making each of my days better.

Jonathan

ALRIGHT. HALLMARK SENTIMENT OVER.

Next year:

DO NOT invite insipid cast of an MTV reality show to the red carpet just because they fight, make out, have infinitely gelled hair, and/or “Situations”.
Keep the rap performances off of the air; if they involve Drake what’s his name, Eminem, and that other annoying guy, consider honoring a funny Rap Song, like “I’m On a Boat”. Maybe next year, Andy Samberg.

I’m glad you were nominated Kelly Clarkson, Colbie Calliat, and Katy Perry. I’d be even gladder if you ever get out from under Beyonce’s put a ring on it middle finger and got a Grammy of your own. Update: Colbie won with Jason Mraz for "Lucky". Sweet!

Major kudos and excitement/love for Kings of Leon and their win for Use Somebody, not only one of the best songs of the year, but of all time!



I’mma Be…over the Black Eye’d Peas. Seriously? There’s like, a handful of good songs on their album, and they are likable at best, but not amazing, or great. I almost never play their CD til the E.N.D., although I guess I GET it.

Taylor Swift. Take a vacation. Don’t release an album then rerelease it a few months later as a deluxe version to keep sales high. Life is not all about fairy tales, horses, and ponies. I’m psyched that you’re doing what you love and you’re successful for it, but the “OMG this means so much to me, I never thought I’d be here” ballyhoo is getting older and stiffer than Joan Rivers’ face. Disregard these comments if they are too mean, I am suffering from extreme bias due to my love of Ms. Carrie Marie Underwood. Also, you look like a siamese cat. In a good way. Sort of.



GRATUITIOUS PHOTO



Best Female Country Vocal Performance to Taylor Swift over Carrie Underwood: if we’re looking at VOCAL talents and prowess solely, then I must be listening to different songs if Taylor trumps Carrie. All of the 12,000 voters who chose the winner must be blind in their ears. Someone told me sales have a lot to do with winners too, so Taylor’s more recent album winning over Carrie’s 2008 Carnival Ride makes sense by the numbers I suppose. But doesn’t it mean something that a single from an older album can get nominated in the same category as a recent one, and one that’s been rereleased majorly? And performance should be based on PERFORMANCE, not sales, appearances, and popularity. I invite you to check out the two songs and come to your own conclusions.





Carrie DID win for I Told You So, the duet version with Randy Travis for Best Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group.

Taylor, can't you just take Record of the Year and let Carrie have Best Female Vocal Performance, as she deserves?

I know. Everyone has their favorites they want to win. But it would be nice if the Grammys took more risks and did something different instead of what's going to be popular and make headlines and generate ratings.

A final note to Rhianna's bouffant:



TAKE A BOW! Robert Pattinson is so jealous.